The page is completely fucked up or your computer is broken.....

• Click the Refesh button, or fill your CD-ROM drawer tray with jam. That really works.
• If you typed the page address in the Address bar, Please go away and learn to spell correctly before returning asshole...
  
• To check your connection status, unplug your PC and insert a screwdriver into the mains socket. Connection status will immediately become apparent.
• If you like, Microsoft Windows can examine your PC and send details of all the pornography you have downloaded to it's head quarters in Redmond.
  If you would like Windows to ruin your life
  Click Yes! Send me to jail!
• Some sites you visit require Microsoft's authorization. Click the Windows menu and then click Let me view boobies! to uninstall this feature.
• If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure your Security settings can support it. A reminder for those of you who have your feet up and a grin on your face as you read this, if you're looking at porn, and I know you are, your wife pretends she doesn't know shit, but she checks the history and the temporary internet folders while you're in the bathroom reading your magazine for 26 minutes. She knows what you're doing. Don't even feel confident she doesn't. Wanna know why she doesn't mention it? Because now she is justified in having that affair on icq with some guy name Raul. But here is the funny part Mr. Wizard, SHE knows how to delete her logs and history and pretend she doesn't know how "this internet thing works but wants to learn". You're on the way to the couch after you "turn on the computer for your baby" while she just wants to surf the Martha Stewart website, but the second you leave the room, she's checking her 15 hotmail accounts for "RE: Your Hot Picture" . You are not even HALF as smart as you think you are pal. Once again, a reminders to click the Tools menu, I swear, there will be a picture of you in there somewhere, and then click Internet Options. Yours are limited since you just now realized that not only is your wife cheating on you, but some 15 year old kid in Miami just bought the entire Eminem music library on cd AND dvd and charged it to your credit card.
   
• Click the Back to try and end this nightmare or to try another life, cause you obviously just can't seem to get the hang of this one. Good luck. Quit your job and move to Mexico... oh and that grinding noise your hard drive is making right now... isn't me erasing your c:/ drive.